I've had a lot of friends come out as transgender in the past five years. It has confused me for several reasons. And I recently went online to find some information out. There are sites for "transkids" and their parents and how to support them. There are a multitude of
resources. Here's what I've decided.
What I am about to say please know that I do not at all say this to devalue or belittle the very real feelings that my trans family feel. It is not my intention to say that what they are going through is arbitrary. That is my disclaimer. I respect them, honor them, and know that as with sexual orientation, they haven't chosen to feel the way they do, it is something inherent and deep, and therefore I take it very seriously.
Having said that, I have to say that if we abolished the very arbitrary idea of gender at all, I don't think people would be transgender. Because gender would no longer exist.
What I'm saying is that all that "boy/girl" "butch/femme" crap-it's NOT REAL.
BIOLOGY! I hear you screaming BIOLOGY! Biology has absolutely nothing to do with the idea that someone with or without a Y chromosome will like dresses and play with dolls. Biology gives you a penis or a vagina, a womb or a hairy chest. That is the beginning of it, and that is the end of it. Biology does not now, nor has it ever determined your behavior, your gender identity, your sexual orientation, or your sexuality.
While I would not suggest that we completely ignore science, I would like to point out that science has become the locus of 'reality', and I believe that is not only deceptive, but it is wrong. Science has many limitations, and I don't believe in it as though it is a new god. I don't think it is logical, reasonable, or real. I don't believe that science is not arbitrary, nor do I believe that science is not immediately influenced by its culture, nor by who is funding its research. I trust science the same way I trust a priest: I don't. Sometimes a priest will say something that is true. That does not mean that priest is who I am going to refer to for everything.
I want to define some things really quickly:
1)gender identity: that is how you behave. Historically there have been tests done to suggest that there is a specific set of codes that determine male behavior v. female behavior. One of the studies said that a woman, or a feminine person, will sit with their lower back closer in to their seat back. The more masculine a person, the more space there will be between their lower back, and their seat back. I'm hoping that you the reader can infer the multitude of things wrong with a "scientific" study that comes to that conclusion. Gender identity is NOT biological. It is arbitrarily determined by our culture.
2)sexuality: this is exactly what it says. How you behave sexually.
3)sexual orientation: the type of person/people that you find yourself attracted to. This has NOTHING to do with your gender identity, and the sooner we get over this one, the sooner we will be on the road to recovery from the whole gender identity theft of our culture.
Fausto-Sterling among other things, has suggested that there were ... oh say
5 various genders in humanity. Later she said that she had used that number arbitrarily and that her actual argument is that there is no gender, or rather there are a whole LOT of genders in human behavior and that male v. female is actually a myth- or a collective lie that our culture continues to believe. Check out her work, and what she is suggesting now.
Phyllis Burke wrote a book called Gender Shock which argues a lot of what I am arguing. She picks the "science" apart. She suggests that a lot of the findings are skewed to fit into what the scientists want to prove about gender. Because let's face it, there is a lot at stake here. And science is not exempt from this. Our gender is something that for whatever reason, we hold near and dear to our hearts. For example, the gay movement from the get-go has struggled with a leadership that has wanted to make sure that our gender identity matches our sex, and what the world wants to see, we have given to them. Take for example the pre-stonewall movement. The men all wear suits, the women dresses. It was as if to say, "well, ok so we deviate slightly from what you people call the 'norm' in the fact that we tend to love people of the same 'gender' but look, we aren't total 'freaks'. We're not deviating from the gender norms, that should help you relate to us". This hasn't stopped in the queer rights movement. It has lessened slightly but really not all that much.
So I would like to propose that while our trans family does what they need to do to escape the awful chains that arbitrary gender roles wrap around us, we do whatever we can whenever we can to abolish gender all together.
But what does that do to my sexual orientation, you ask? you might say something like, "I'm a lesbian. Say what you like about how gender doesn't exist, I don't like men. I've tried, and really its primal, I don't like the way they smell, taste or feel."
I don't think the primacy of our humanity needs to be taken away from us in order to abolish the concept of gender, seeing as gender is as a result of cultural invention anyway.
I'll write more as the inspiration inspires me.
also. 4.)pack of lucky strikes yeah I knowI don't smoke but this is my strange deisre I will revisit those demons with a visceral appreciation. Like Matt Le Blanc looking for a job.
